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Wow I can actually be bothered to do the job the site promised, thanks for staying with us!
 
Got a funny question you want to ask somebody please e-mail the request to ripbizkit@hotmail.com

QUESTION TO "CHANNEL FIVE"

To: Duty Office
Subject: i am great

Please can i have my own chat show

pretty please

pretty pretty please

 

 

ANSWER FROM "CHANNEL FIVE"

Dear Correspondent

       

Thank you for your recent e-mail regarding Five.

Five does not make any of its own programmes.  All programmes and films shown on the channel are either commissioned from independent production companies or acquired ready made.  This means that we cannot accept programme ideas from the public.

If you are able to interest a production company in your idea then they can approach Five themselves.  To this end we recommend the PACT (Producers Alliance for Cinema and Television) Directory, which lists production companies and the kinds of projects they are involved in.  Your local library may have a copy of this.

Thank you for your interest in Five.

 

Yours sincerely

 

 

DUTY OFFICER

 

QUESTION:  TO "I can't believe it's not butter"
 
Right, my mate fred says his mum used to work in your factory,
and that it is actually butter, but it comes from skinny cows!
Is this true and if so do i win a prize?

ANSWER:
 
Hi,

Thanks so much for writing!

ICBINB! is made with sweet cream buttermilk for the fresh butter taste
without the cholesterol. The buttermilk is the liquid remaining after
butter has been churned
from cream. In the churning process, the fat in the cream solidifies
into butter;
therefore, the remaining liquid--buttermilk--is cholesterol free.


It is a 70% vegetable oil spread (QUARTERS: By weight, 70% of product is
blend
of partially hydrogenated and liquid soybean oils; TUBS: By weight,
70% of product is liquid soybean oil and partially hydrogenated
soybean oil).

We hope this information is helpful.

Your friends at ICBINB!

Posted by Nimajneb
 
QUESTION: "Jacobs"
 

To Jacob,

Why when my cat eats your cream crackers does all his hair fall out? It only happens when it is lightly buttered, with some brie, but it is definitley the crackers which are doing it.

Cheers Jeffrey

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